My heart goes out to all of you who are feeling stuck or imprisoned in your current situation, whatever it may be. I’ve been there. But unless you’re physically locked up, you are not stuck. Might one or more of these 6 excuses be keeping you from your freedom?
- Fear of failure – you’ll stay in an abusive or dead-end relationship to prove that you can succeed at relationships. You’ll forgo the exercise program because you already know you won’t see it to the end.
- Lack of self-confidence – you stay in negative situations because you feel you can’t do better. You settle because you don’t think you’re good enough to have anything more fulfilling. You’ve failed so many times that you feel defeated even before you begin, so why bother?
- The need to control – even though your relationship is mostly negative, you are in control of it. You might want someone more suited to your personality, but the chances of feeling out of control aren’t worth the switch. If you remain overweight, at least you’re in control of something.
- Fear of being alone – Being with people you don’t particularly enjoy is better than being alone.
- The need to belong – You’ll join clubs, churches, and organizations you don’t really agree with or care about simply to feel like you’re a part of something.
- It’s too difficult – the amount of work, time, and energy it will take to find another job or to lose weight is just too much. When you add it all up, it’s too overwhelming.
Are you tracking with me so far? Now what? What is the next step to your freedom?
My friend, here is the harsh reality. Unless you’re at the absolute end of yourself, in a place of pure desperation, freedom isn’t possible. The reason nothing has changed for you is that you aren’t desperate enough. Some part of you is, at least, somewhat satisfied with the way things are presently. Life is manageable, and you’re still receiving something that’s benefiting you in some way. You can desire a more fulfilling relationship, to have a better job, or to be 50 pounds lighter until the cows come home, but UNTIL YOU’RE DESPERATE, your life will remain unchanged. You say you’d like to become desperate but don’t know how? This may be hard to hear, but you’ll never be desperate enough until you are. You will continue to keep your head above the water until you can’t. You’ll put up with things a little while longer until you won’t. It’s at that point the tables will begin to turn.