Why do we fight with others? Let’s take a look at this question set in various situations. Children fight each other on the playground when they are in disagreement about whose turn it is, or because someone said something mean about him or her. Married couples fight because they are in disagreement about why he or she spent too much money on this or that, or because he or she spent too much time with the opposite sex. Employees fight employers because they are in disagreement about salary or in the way procedures are handled. Children fight their parents because they are in disagreement with the curfew time, or that they must eat their vegetables before they’re given dessert. We fight because we believe in something we value. That’s why the United States of America is a free country. Right or wrong, we valued freedom from British rule. That value was challenged because the British didn’t want that for us; thus, the Revolutionary War began. We fought and won our freedom from England because we wanted it badly enough. Simply, we want it our way. If everyone wanted the same thing, there would be no fighting. But when someone challenges what we want, the battle begins. We humans have a strong will, don’t we? You’ve heard the parents of the “strong-willed child” say, She won’t listen to a thing we say. And He has a mind of his own. The compliant child’s will may not be as strong, but believe me, it’s there. Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t fight for our freedoms. If they’re God-honoring freedoms, then yes, by all means, fight!
Then, there are the internal battles we fight. Is the battle you’re fighting really with someone else, or is the battle taking place inside YOU? In your will? I’m just saying that we will fight less with others when we know whether or not our battle is internal. Doesn’t it make sense that we look there first? Internally? Shouldn’t we start there? We get into trouble when we are tempted to bring another person into a battle that’s not theirs to fight. If we do, we’ve already lost. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, Her issues have nothing to do with you. Deep in your soul, only YOU know if something isn’t quite right. You know. It is not a battle between you and another person(s). So why do you bring him or her into it? Is it because it’s too hard to fight by yourself? Is it too lonely? Until you decide to grow a backbone and fight it out BY YOURSELF, you’ll never win. The real truth here is that the battle is between your will (nobody else’s) and God’s will. And if you’re fortunate enough, God will bring you to the battlefield, but most often He doesn’t. YOU have to look into your own soul where no other person can enter and battle it out there. Before God. If you have a conscience, you already know what’s right and what’s not. THAT is where the contention lies. THAT is why you’re miserable. THAT is why you don’t have peace. You are at war with yourself. It’s like the apostle Paul in Romans 7: 15-20, when he says, I do the things I don’t want to do, and I don’t do the things I want to do. Read the whole passage if you have time. What did he conclude? It was the sin in him that did it. The sin in his soul. When you battle it out there, in your soul, with YOURSELF, that thing (sin) has no power over you anymore. It may take seconds to win it or perhaps years, but that is up to YOU. Lay down your pride, get going, and be done with it already!