For Women Only

The words in today’s blogpost are taken from a YouTube video by Tony Gaskins – American motivational speaker, life coach, and author. He wants women to know that men are not like women. Not at all. Nothing similar in any way. If men read this and become angry, it might be because they’re guilty. There may be other men who are not this way at all. In any regard, this post may seem like a slam towards men, but remember; this is what a MAN of God has said about other MEN.


Tony starts off by telling us what women have said to him about men:

“Men act like it’s so hard to be faithful. It’s not that hard to be faithful.”


Tony responds:

“When have you ever been a man? That statement above, from a woman, proves that it is easier for a woman to be faithful than a man. Men rarely turn down women. Men don’t operate like women at all.


Think about how men are wired by God to go overseas and to fight the enemy. Most women don’t have that desire or aren’t wired to shoot bullets at the enemy, to punch someone in the face, or to stick a knife in another person’s back. That’s why men like shoot-em-up movies. Women generally like a love story.


Men don’t tell the truth because they don’t want to be exposed. Ladies, don’t give a man the benefit of the doubt. If you think he’s lying, he is. Women should be cautious about their man’s dealings with women. Why? Because men aren’t like women. Just because a man is called to be a pastor of a church, he’s STILL A MAN. Just because a man is faithful to a woman, he’s STILL A MAN. A committed man has to set boundaries and commit himself to God, because he’s STILL A MAN.


Ladies, if you’re with a man who’s fornicating with you (sex with you and no marriage to you), you cannot trust anything else about him. The reason he’s not married to you is so that he can cheat more freely. That’s why he has made no commitment to you.


If you are dealing with a man who’s committing adultery, that is, he’s married to someone (not you) but is having sex with you, you can’t trust anything else about him. Unless a man is renewed by Jesus Christ, he probably will not remain pure. But even if God is near and dear to a man’s heart, a man will still struggle. The devil will try and try to tempt that man. It will be a fight for that man, but if he’s truly born of the spirit of God, he will fight to remain pure.


Ladies, you may think that your man deserves a 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chance, but be sure of this. If your man cheated on you, he’s probably already cheated 10 times before that. Why? Because it’s so easy. If you’re going to take him back, you must ask, what have you done to change? Your man could be faithful for 6 months, a year maybe, but UNLESS he has been born again and fully surrendered to God, he will rely on his own strength and maybe last 2 years before he cheats again.


The only way a man will not cheat is if he’s faithful to GOD, not you. That is his motivation. You are not his motivation. A man’s saving grace comes from GOD, and not his WIFE. A man’s blessings and favor come from GOD and not his wife. A man’s wife has not one ability to change anything about him. Only God can do that. A man could be by himself in a hotel room with his phone off. If he is truly born of the spirit of God, his wife can trust him. Why? Not because he knows she’s watching him. That born-again man is faithful because he knows God is watching him. That’s the only motivation a true man of God needs.


A spirit-filled man will not tempt God. A spirit-filled man will not play with the favor of God being poured out on him. When Jesus makes a man whole, He tells that man he’s forgiven, and then He tells him one more thing…Go and sin no more. NO MORE.


Love can’t keep a man faithful. Only God can keep a man faithful.


Now, some men have hurt their woman so much that they’ve decided to become faithful. But they’re relying on their own strength. Some men are faithful because they physically can’t function due to some medical problem. Some men are embarrassed about their private part and are asexual so they don’t have to explain it. Some men are faithful or they refrain from sex because they don’t have any options. This means they’re faithful by default.


If a normal man has chosen to be faithful longterm, it’s because he has chosen to be faithful to God. It’s not about how good a woman looks or that his woman is a good mother that makes him a faithful man.


So before you make a commitment to a normal man, he must prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, that he has made a commitment to GOD. He can praise your beauty until the cows come home, but unless he has a fully committed relationship with the Most High, he will find it very difficult be faithful to you.


Look, if you know anything about King David in the Bible, you’ve got to know this about him. God used young David to kill a giant. He was the apple of God’s eye, a man after God’s own heart, it says in scripture. Later on, upon seeing a beautiful, young, married woman bathing on her balcony, David decided he had to have her. So he did. That same man after God’s own heart had that married woman’s husband killed by moving him to the front lines during battle, all because he had to fulfill his lust for that woman. Men would do the same things today if they had the power to do it. Left to their own devices, men AND women, are reckless. It’s not until we are changed by God, renewed, and new creatures, that we become trustworthy. And it’s not the same struggles for everybody. Some men struggle with pornography. Some struggle with the lust for money. Some men struggle with gang life, murder, and illegal activities like drugs or theft. Some have struggles with alcohol. Some men struggle with pedophilia or same-sex attraction.


When you say you want a man of God, you have to know what a man of God looks like. Sitting in church doesn’t make a man a Christian any more than a man sitting in a garage makes that man a car. Ladies, if you don’t read your Bible, you can’t know what a man of God looks like. If you’re having sex and you’re not married, you can be absolutely certain that you don’t have a man of God.


Bottom line: You don’t know men. You’ve got to tread lightly. You’ve got to be careful. Ladies, you’ve got to make sure he’s putting in the work. If his character, morals, values, and principles are out of whack, then everything else will be out of whack. If you’re giving your cheating man another chance and he’s not renewed, I mean, renewed something serious, then he’s going to cheat again. Since he’s flawed, he’s human, and he’s natural, he’s got to have the Supernatural, the Perfect, the Almighty on his side. He has got to be tapped in, locked in, all in, or he will sin again.


Ladies: Stop shaming men because they’re different than you. You too have struggles, but they’re different than a man’s struggles. If you have a husband, a brother, a dad, a pastor, pray for him. That thing in their heads, that tic-tic-tic to replenish the earth is so strong; it’s a ticking time bomb. If it was easily controlled, the world would cease to exist. If men were only interested in money or in work, and they didn’t have the desire to lie with women, there would be no reproduction, no people populating the earth. You, ladies, must be prayed up and on that straight and narrow with your man so you two can be moving forward together.”

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Suzanne Sommerville

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Christ-follower, daughter, mom, Mimi to 6 grandchildren, teacher, writer, and musician

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