Learning to put an end to this behavior that could ultimately kill you is vital, but before you stop it, you must determine why you do it in the first place. And to understand that, we must go back to the beginning of time and take a look at the father of lies. The devil is that person, and he’s after you. His goal is that you become like him. Not too long after God created Eve, she bought into the devil’s lie that she would become wise like God, knowing both good and evil if she would take a bite of that luscious fruit God told her not to eat. Once she chose to eat that fruit, the lying began. She lied to the devil. Then Adam lied, and people have been lying ever since. You, me, everybody that has come forth from the womb has told lies. On an average, people, when having a 10-minute conversation, tell 2-3 lies. News Flash: That’s no excuse. Here are 8 other selfish reasons we do it:
- We avoid consequences. I would say that nobody enjoys suffering the consequences of any type of misbehavior. And if misbehaving isn’t bad enough, we lie about it making it the number 1 reason people lie.
- We get what we want. If we want either money or attention from others, we lie. Think IRS or a female hitchhiker wearing heels.
- We avoid doing something we don’t want to do. If we don’t want to go out for dinner, we lie and say we’re sick or that we’re slammed with work.
- We make people happy. How can this be selfish? Well if others are happy with us, we’re happy too. Get it?
- Others will think well of us. To protect people’s feelings, we lie and say we had a good time on the date, when in reality, we couldn’t wait to call an Uber.
- We protect someone from harm. You don’t want your friend, family member, or co-worker to get in trouble, so we lie and say we didn’t see them try to poison the boss.
- We protect our privacy. When we don’t want someone to know our phone number, we lie and rattle off a fake one instead of admitting we don’t give out that info.
- We want to be polite. We lie and tell our bestie she looks great in green. We lie and tell Midge that she throws great parties.
Of course, there are some people who don’t want to stop lying. They are managing things quite well, and nobody’s the least bit suspicious. Okay. Fine. This next section is not for you. But if you are finally ready to put an end to all the nonsense and to become someone with integrity, these 8 things will hopefully put you on the road to honesty.
- Admit that you’re a liar. That’s harsh, but really, it’s the only way. Until you admit that you lie, you’re sunk.
- Commit to finding out why you lie. There are reasons or triggers that cause you to lie. What are they? Make a list.
- Determine why you want to stop. When we actually have reasons to stop a particular behavior, the more likely we are to actually stop it.
- Make a commitment to stop. When we commit, either to God, ourselves, or to someone else, that we want to stop a bad behavior, we’ll have a better chance of actually becoming successful.
- Make a plan to stop. Pray and ask God to help you realize you’re about to tell a lie. Oh, He’ll help you all right. Ask a friend you trust to hold you accountable. Join a support group. Realize that I’ve lied so long that I just can’t stop is a lie in itself. Trash it.
- Determine to tell the truth or don’t say anything at all. Sort of like say something nice or don’t say anything at all. Remember that old phrase?
- Recognize the patterns you’ve developed that cause you to lie. Slips will happen. Confess it and get back on the wagon.
- Have the right relationships. Be friends with honest people. Iron sharpens iron. If you’re in relationship with a liar, you’ll probably find it much harder to tell the truth.
Here’s what the Bible says about it:
- You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and has nothing to do with the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44
- There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19
- A false witness will not go unpunished, and he who breathes out lies will perish. Proverbs 19:9
- Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. Proverbs 12:19
- Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Colossians 3:9-10
- For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:17